When I’m feeling blue and need to cheer myself up I need look no further than the end of my legs. This is where my feet are and my feet are where I display my collection of novelty socks. Today I have gathered for your perusal a selection of my favourite socks. Think of it as Top of the Socks, if you like, or merely a list if you are less inclined to puns and things. I have limited myself to four pairs, each special in their own way, and I hope they make you smile. Perhaps this will inspire you to look at your own socks and choose the best ones! Good for you but remember this is about my socks, so don’t start going on about your own, it would be rude.
At number four I have selected this pair of guinea pig socks. I have always dreamed of owning guinea pigs since five years ago when someone showed me their guinea pigs. However, I can’t be bothered. Cleaning out the cage of a guinea pig or rabbit (similar in pet responsibility though not much in genealogy) is a real hassle and I don’t have time for that.
You will note the repeated pattern of the guinea pig against what I like to call a spearmint green background. It is soothing to look at. Not like the backbreaking work of cleaning a guinea pig hutch but with all the aesthetic joy of looking at an animal as silly looking as a guinea pig. Ah. I feel better already!
At number three there’s a theme you’ll see regularly in my wardrobe…dinosaurs! These dinosaurs are not photorealistic and instead are what looks like an interpretation of a child’s interpretation of a dinosaur. In bright, uplifting colours these guys aren’t as threatening as the raptors depicted in the feature film Jurassic Park.
The words on them say “Roar” which is what they want you to believe a dinosaur talked like. But we can’t really say for sure they would have, so let’s not put words into their mouths when they aren’t here to defend themselves.
At number two we have a good friend of mine, Square Bear! He is a creation by outstanding British brand Marks and Spencer. As you will have come to expect from Marks and Sparks – as my mum calls them – they are of high quality and make your feet feel like they are submerged in a bucket full of long-haired kittens, such as ragdolls. Because they are so soft.
I have multiple socks featuring Square Bear as well as a nightie. There are three things you should know about Square Bear:
He is square
He is a bear
His ears are always a different texture to his body
I’ve provided a close-up for inspection.
You see that the body is made of regular sock but the ears are a luxurious faux-fur. Reach out as if you can touch it, so soft, so golden. It is magnificent. I plan to buy more Square Bear socks when I visit M&S this week, he is such a cool guy.
Here we are. The number one favourite pair of socks. Just pipping Square Bear to the post but I’m sure you will see why. These socks are so detailed you can look at them up to several times and see something new almost each time. A beautiful scene, if you let your imagination run wild it tells you a story. I imagine it as a Norwegian landscape, the twilight hour, in a time where animals rule the earth and giant magic mushrooms grow willy nilly.
Foxes, squirrels and look, down there by the feet, it’s only hedgehogs!
A plethora of woodland creatures. I would like to meet the artist behind these socks and shake their hand, they are masters of their craft. I bought these from Tesco, a wonderful surprise on an otherwise mundane shopping trip. When I wear these socks I feel like anything is possible, I am walking on a magical world.